It would be stating the obvious saying that we all wish to enjoy making love to our partner, although a lot of the terms based around sex require a chat. A huge benefit of this is couples who bring up the ‘taboo’ situations and express their feelings in a constructive way are much more likely to have a happy relationship than those who do not.
A series of pro-active conversations can make all the difference in solidifying strength and duration in a relationship. Talking about intimacy is one of the most important factors. Continue reading to discover how to deal with 8 important Crucial Conversations Course, issues and how to deal with them positively.
1 Limits : Nobody likes a nasty surprise in the bedroom so you should discuss your boundaries. There is a possibility that you will encounter fun experiences without communicating, but you also set yourself up for drastic failure. Be open about what you are willing to try and ask your partner to do the same. Take turns at swapping ideas on what you would like to try. The worse thing that could happen is no action whereas the best case scenario could open up new doors for your sexual activity.
2 Ruts: Routine can be too easy to succumb to in any sexual relationship, if a fresh couple begin their relationship with lack of information and misguided opinions of what normal sex is, you can inhibit your openness to many erotic options. To avoid monotony try hiring a sex therapist. You can even do some studying of your own with your partner to come up with new ideas.
3 Dysfunction: The instigation of sexy time and premature ejaculation can be sensitive topics. Most males do not want to talk about touchy subjects in the bedroom. Instead, suggest that he pleasures you. This will take the tension away from his anxiety to perform well. Subtle suggestions like “ I love when you go slow” or “You are so good at foreplay” will not sound like you are patronizing him. If any problems continue to arise, tackle them outside the bedroom. Let your spouse know that if you feel pressured it stops you feeling horny although you are willing to work together to get past the problem. Either way he responds, look at it in a way that you’ve at least mentioned your thoughts in a supportive and understanding manner.
4 Safety: The number of sexual encounters or partners you have had is insignificant to your relationship. STDs can infest human genitalia regardless. If starting out in a new relationship, a good time to bring this up can be before you first have sex with your new partner. That way you are both clear on where you stand. You have the right to respect your body and remember unsafe sex can lead to unwanted children.
5 Timing: Constant questions and pressure are not good. If you are on different ends of the spectrum- one of you is raring to go and the other is simply giving in- then you will not fulfil each other’s needs emotionally or physically during sex. Everybody has the right to refuse sex. There are constructive ways of doing this. Gently touch your spouse and suggest another time, if you do use this strategy though, make sure you deliver the goods when you are ready.
6 Stay Exclusive: No assumptions. A clear verbal agreement is proactive. Some women just ‘assume’ everything is exclusive because it’s easier to deal with than the risk of finding out their partner does not agree. This is not an area that you should leave in the dark and there are ways to approach the subject diplomatically. Make sure when the topic is brought to light that you are in comfortable surroundings or on neutral ground. Another good idea is to do this completely sober.
7 Feedback: Express what gets you hot under the collar, do so until it becomes second nature. Nobody is a mind reader and we all have unspoken thoughts. Encourage your partner and ask them if you can talk about what you both like. A less direct but equally effective way is to moan in pleasure when your spouse does something you like; this will entice him to do it more. Men respond well to nonverbal prompts as they do not make him feel too self-aware. Ordering a man to do something during sex can hurt his ego so instead suggest he does something to you.
8 Plan the occasion: This may take away some of the spontaneity but it can be a good idea to discuss when is a good time to fit sex life into your relationship. Work it together and find a happy medium of how much sex to have during the week. This includes when and where and if you do have different preferences learn to compromise. A situation that suits you both will lead to much better sex
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